Remember when "sex -- even when not so great or someone got their feelings hurt -- fell under the category of experience, rather than injury and trauma" in the university world? Neither do I, but I've heard about it. Laura Kipnis's recent piece on professor-student dating is a report on the current state of affairs, so to speak, from someone who presumably knows what she's talking about. If nothing else, it will be appreciated by anyone who has ever been herded into a sensitivity course. Bottom line on professor-student flings: it's always risky, but you can technically do it as long as no one ever feels vulnerable, controlled, hurt, nervous, anxious, or needy, and you can't tell any jokes. In other words, you might as well forget it, as no such relationship has ever existed in the history of the world, not even one. The article is amusing, though, especially the account of the mutinous faculty at the brainwashing session. NB: smoldering glances are apparently out.
Wow, a relationship with a professor. That's the stuff I always think about...Ok, but seriously. That sort of thing can be done. Speaking as an incredibly romantic, wearing my heart on my sleeve type of girl...Sex ending with hurt feelings being in the category of experience is without a doubt do-able. It's all how you look at it.
I think the only problem is a lot of girls think of relationships with professors in a very fantastical way. If it actually happens, it gets hard to separate real life feelings and emotions from the rush of having your fairy tale come true. But, in the end, we are real people in a not very glamorous world that rarely lives up to our expectations, so, it's probably better to stay away from situations like that.
Posted by: Amy 80 at January 8, 2004 07:18 AMI'm a grad student right now, and I'm already wondering about hypothetical situations and the ethics of dating some girl in my discussion section.
Posted by: Al at January 8, 2004 08:56 AMI'm always on board with Jonathon Richman references.
What was this blog post about again?
Frank's in love with the Modern world.
Posted by: Hippy Johnny at January 8, 2004 02:55 PMSome companies, just like some Universities have rules against co-worker relationships. I think one can view the two situations the same. There's always trouble when a figure of authority has a relationship with somebody below them on the proverbial totem-pole, whether it be in the workplace or the campus.
Posted by: Channon at January 8, 2004 05:34 PMEvery single workplace romance I've seen in my 20+ years on the job has been a failure (none, I might add, were romances I was having). People always go into it thinking "Oh, we'll handle the problems" but they don't. Have a bad day at home, and suddenly going to work to get away for awhile no longer is an option. I can only assume the professor/student relationship is similar.
Posted by: Don at January 10, 2004 02:37 AM